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Vampires Don’t Wear Polka Dots
(book # 1 in The Adventures of the Bailey School Kids series)

Put on a Bailey School play with your own class!
(a short 3-scene play)

CHARACTERS: The narrator, Mrs. Jeepers (the new teacher), Howie, Eddie, Melody, Liza (prounouced with a long i -- "L-EYE-ZA"), two moving men, the janitor, and the rest of the 3rd grade class of children.

SCENE 1 -- Students are sitting in their desks in their messy third grade classroom, waiting for their new teacher.
Melody: Poor Mrs. Deedee. You shouldn’t have been so mean to her.
Eddie: Nobody was very nice to her.
Melody: Now we have to get a new teacher. I hope we don’t get a male wrestler.
Howie: Be serious. Wrestlers don’t become teachers.
Melody: Yes, they do. My cousin had a wrestler for a teacher. He was huge and very mean.
Liza: I hope we don’t get Viola Swamp for a teacher.
Class: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Narrator: Viola Swamp was a character in a book they had read. She was the strictest teacher in the whole world. Everyone stopped laughing when the classroom doorknob slowly turned.

SCENE 2 -- After school. The kids are walking home as they pass the Clancy Estate.
Melody: I think our new teacher, Mrs. Jeepers, is strange.
Howie: She talks really freaky.
Liza: I think she’s nice. She talks funny because she is from Transylvania.
Howie: Isn’t that where Count Dracula was from?
Melody: Maybe Mrs. Jeepers is a vampire, too.
Eddie: Mrs. Jeepers is just a wimpy teacher. I’m going to get rid of her.
Melody: (pointing) Yuck, somebody is moving into the Clancy estate!
Eddie: I bet it’s haunted with ghosts and vampires. (Eddie pretends to bite his friends on the neck)
Narrator: The kids are staring at the creepy looking house when a voice comes from behind them. The kids jump.
Mrs. Jeepers: Good afternoon, children. I see you have noticed my new home.
Howie: You mean you’re going to live here?
Mrs. Jeepers: (nodding) Yes, is it not lovely?
Narrator: Two moving men walk by carrying a long wooden box. It looks just like a coffin!
Liza: I think I hear my mom calling.
Howie, Melody, and Eddie: Me, too!
Narrator: The kids ran away from Mrs. Jeepers as fast as they could.
Howie: Did you see that coffin!
Melody: Maybe Mrs. Jeepers really is a vampire!
Liza: Don’t be silly, vampires don’t wear polka dots.
Eddie: Mrs. Jeepers isn’t a vampire and I can prove it.

SCENE 3 -- Third grade classroom with Howie and Melody
Howie: This book says that garlic will get rid of vampires. I brought some garlic salt from home.
Melody: Now we can find out for sure if Mrs. Jeepers really is a vampire.
Narrator: Mrs. Jeepers and the rest of the kids come in the room. They start to work, but something is wrong with Mrs. Jeepers.
Mrs. Jeepers: (sneezes) Ah-chooo! Ah-chooo!
Eddie: Phew! Somebody stinks. It smells like spaghetti in here!
Howie and Melody: Shhhhhh!
Narrator: Mrs. Jeepers was too busy blowing her nose to notice Eddie. So Eddie threw paper planes, knocked books on the floor, and sharpened his pencil about one hundred times.
Mrs. Jeepers: (sneezes) Ah-chooo! Ah-chooo!
Eddie: Sick people shouldn’t come to school.
Mrs. Jeepers: (sneezes) Ah-chooo! Class, go to lunch.
Narrator: When the class got back from lunch, the janitor was just finishing sweeping up all the garlic salt.
Mrs. Jeepers: Thank you, Mr. Dobson. I am sure I will feel much better now.
Howie: Eddie, I’ve got to tell you something.
Eddie: Don’t bug me, I’m getting ready to bombard Mrs. Jeepers with spitballs.
Howie: But you can’t. The garlic’s gone. Mrs. Jeepers is already feeling better.
Narrator: It was true. Mrs. Jeepers was no longer blowing her nose or sneezing. Eddie stuck a wad of paper in his mouth and got it good and soggy. Then, taking careful aim, Eddie let the spitball fly.
Eddie: Bingo!
Narrator: Mrs. Jeepers slowly plucked the spitball from her papers.
Eddie: I told you see isn’t a vampire. She won’t do a thing.
Mrs. Jeepers: (pulling Eddie from his desk) I have had enough! I will speak to you in the hall this instant.
Eddie: I’m sorry, Mrs. Jeepers. I’ll never do it again.
(Mrs. Jeepers and Eddie leave the room)
Melody: What do you think she’ll do to him?
Howie: I don’t know, but I’m glad it’s not me.
Liza: Let’s clean up the room before they get back.
Narrator: When Mrs. Jeepers and Eddie get back, Eddie is as white as a ghost.
Howie: What happened?
Liza: Did Mrs. Jeepers bite you on the neck?
Narrator: But Eddie never told his friends what happened out in the hall. All he said was . . .
Eddie: I know one thing, I’ll NEVER make her mad again!
Narrator: Do Vampires REALLY wear polka-dots? We may never know... [THE END]

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